• Deidre Sanders
• Agony Aunt

• 0:16,
• Updated : ,

I had brilliant sex with a guy I hooked up with online. We both want to keep this thing casual but how do I stop myself getting involved?

I’m 24 and I split up from my long-term boyfriend in May. He’s 25 and the break-up hit me hard.

I knew that I had to move on so I logged on to an app for meeting random guys for casual sex. It was really good fun and it helped me get over my ex.

The latest guy is 28. We messaged a few times and then we decided to meet. I was stunned when I saw him, he’s really nice-looking and fit. We went for a meal and then on to a bar for a drink.

He was funny and generous and I felt myself falling for him straight away. At the end of the night we went back to his flat. We chatted and kissed and then we had sex. It was great.

The next day he said that he’s happy to see me again just as long as we keep it all casual. I’m happy with that as I don’t want to go out with any one yet. I just want to have fun.

The question I’ve got is, how do I stop myself looking too eager? He’s the nicest guy that I’ve ever been with and he made me feel really good about myself. He took an interest in me and he laughed at my jokes.

The best thing of all is that he let me stay the whole night and then kissed me goodbye in the morning. He didn’t kick me out straight after the sex like the other guys did.

DEIDRE SAYS: That could be tricky, especially as I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself here. If you don’t want to go out with him, why are you worried he’ll lose interest in you? There are plenty more fish in the sea.

Deep down I think you would really like to be in a committed relationship again but it sounds like you’re worried you’re going to get hurt, and with good reason I think.

This guy’s made it clear he’s just with you for sex. If you keep on seeing him, sooner or later you’ll find that you’re left high and dry.

Drop this man. Delete that app. You’re putting yourself in terrible danger by meeting men you hardly know. They’ve already worn down your self-esteem to the point that you’re grateful if a man “lets” you stay the whole night.

Believe in yourself and believe you deserve to be loved. Don’t sell yourself short any more. You’ll find love again so relax, enjoy life with your friends and just give it time.

AFTER years of his lies I don’t trust my husband, so I told him to leave – but I miss him so much it hurts.

We’re both 45 and have two grown-up sons. We had been together for 22 difficult years. He’s addicted to sex in one form or another. At first it was websites. I caught him out over and over again.

DEIDRE SAYS: You have been with him for a huge chunk of your life – and almost no one is all bad.

Tell him the counselling is probably just beginning to get near the underlying causes. That can feel painful but he could save your marriage if he sticks with it.

If he won’t, then talk to a counsellor yourself to help support him through this painful period. My e-leaflet How Counselling Helps explains more.

Dear Deidre

I’m a guy of 21 and he’s 23. We’ve shared a flat for a year and, at first, it was fine. He had a girlfriend the same age as him but she dumped him and that sent him off into depression. He then said he’d found someone.

Last night he seemed jumpy. Then he blurted out that he’d kissed his girlfriend’s 13-year-old daughter and that he’d got out his manhood in front of her. What I should do?