She did not mingle with my family and friends. She always kept it to herself. She never wanted to be physical with me. She either said some random reasons or somehow avoided it. She used to go to her parents house very often and I noticed she was very happy there but not when she came back here. Meanwhile she got pregnant with my child on one occasion where we got intimate and though she could not control that incident in advance, she kept saying let’s stop this. But it happened. She got conceived and our son was born. Since she got conceived till date (5 years now) we hardly have been physically intimate less than 10 times only, out of my compulsion that too.
Now she says she doesn’t want to live with me and says there is no love and care in this marriage life
The last time about a year ago she went to her parent’s home and she did not return at all. Now I tried several attempts to talk to her about what the issue was, she was never ready to discuss and it became bigger fights and bigger gaps between us. Her parents took her side and my parents are hopeless as they feel I have been hasty to enter married life in my very young age. Now my wife stopped showing my son to me completely, in spite of my literally begging at least to let him be in touch with me. Now she is asking for divorce.
She left her job after marriage and now lives on her parents’ support only. She vacated her house and lives in some apartment with her parents I guess, for which I don’t know the address. I feel she is in touch with her ex-bf which might be the problem for all this chaos, however I am unsure of it. I want to save this marriage. I really don’t know what to do. I offered her many solutions like she can do higher studies or start some business if she likes or can go to work, and I am ready to support her wholeheartedly. I have told this several times since she quit her job voluntarily after marriage. She isn’t ready for any and all she wants now is divorce.
I approached the senior members of her relatives where everyone says they are unaware about her whereabouts. She has not responded and returned my calls or messages for almost 7-8 months now. I don’t want to get divorced. I love her. I want to fix it somehow. She isn’t ready to go to for couples counselling to solve this, neither responds to any mediation from my side senior members of the family and relatives. About me, I am a good-hearted guy. Yes, I have flaws, sometimes I am a little dominating and might get angry and speak harsh words. I have changed a lot over the years and it’s gotten better these days. Apart from that, I don’t have any negatives I believe.
Why do people think that marriage or having children can bring two people closer or set things right in a relationship?
They are not FIX-ITS; so let’s stop pretending that all will be fine once you do this, this and that.
Anyway, a lot has happened, and I can only empathize with you. You do have the right to meet your child and the only route is the legal one as she is clearly set not to get back with you.
If the answers to the above are NO, then step up and do the right thing for your child as well. He does have the right to receive love from his father as well.