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This could simply be drinking water but could include brushing, flossing or rinsing with lava pumice. Inviting Your Date to Hang Out With Your Friends on the First Date. This is one scenario I’m hearing more about from guy friends of mine. One of the guys will meet a girl he’s into while making it point to hang out with her. Then the girl will invite her suitor out to hang with her and her friends. Not cool! There’s no practical reason to do this. A girl might feel uncomfortable and she surrounds herself with her friends and expects the guy come hang with her. I went on a few dates with girls where they were not alone. In one case there was another girl that was present with my date and I hadn’t been told about that. Immediately I got the vibe that this girl was not interested… It was a waste of my time, really. At that point my date could have called to cancel and I would have appreciated it. The time spent was just awkward, as was the conversation. There have been instances where I’ve been invited out for drinks with a girl and her friends and I’ve only done so once.crystal alejo imagefap imlive

And it really didn’t work so well. I didn’t get to talk much to my date; certainly there was no vibe that we were on a date at all. Lastly and most obvious was that I had to compete with my date’s friends for her attention. Lame. I can’t say that I follow the logic on this one. Firstly, when you meet your date for the first time it’s about getting to know your date and then getting to know you. Secondly, your date asked you out because they want to hang out with YOU and get to know YOU better. Introducing your date to your sea of friends serves nothing more than to distract your date and give them, potentially, the wrong impression.

Having a Scythe in Your Garage. You probably don’t have one of these so this wouldn’t apply to you. But I have a roommate that has one… Which means that I HAVE ONE, too… Um, yeah. There’s not too many approaches to explain any particular one away. The scythe, which is a costume prop, is situated against a surfboard. Is it an odd combination? Sure. It’s about time I put a cover on that; I’m tired of freaking my dates out when I bring them back to my place.

They think they’re going to get hacked up! Picking up a Telemarketer… I’m sure there are people who have had better experiences dating a random telemarketer than I have… I used to hit on pretty much every telemarketer that called my residence. Why? One could make the argument that I’m form of a jerk and I like irritating people. Similarly one could also make the point that I’m painfully lonely and need to be held… I can only tell you that my date was a disaster when I struck gold and found a telemarketer who lived local to me. Ironically she worked for Greater Expectations; and I was quickly reminded associated with the Mad TV parody of this service. Folks. I’m not going to lie. This was an awful experience. As I was walking up to the restaurant I saw a, uh, “heroically” built woman of colossal stature. This was far more woman than a mere mortal man was meant to handle.

I could have walked away at this point, but I didn’t… Nope. I met my date, gave her a hug; rather attempted to. We sat, talked and ate. Our conversation was decent, but we had nothing in common and I only wanted to leave. To her credit she did bilk me for a good meal and dessert so the joke was really on me. Unfortunately the good times didn’t stop there. You see, this telemarketer apparently isn’t supposed to go on dates with the people she calls. So this turned into a two week-protracted process of me answering questions about this telemarketer and her motives… Well, I lied of course, but the telemarketer was calling me up to ensure I wasn’t throwing her or her babies under the bus. Ugh.

Yeah, this whole thing stopped being funny after that first mammoth hug. Don’t date telemarketers. It’s not that funny. Talking about the Ex all the time. Talking about your exes and how they all live in Texas is all well and good… if you’re George Straight, that is… The idea the following is that your time on a date should be used to get to know someone, not trashing or romanticizing about your ex, regardless of how things ended. Nothing takes the wings from your new date like overtly talking about your ex… You don’t form connections with your future soul mates if you can’t let your past go. There’s an appropriate time to speak about exes; 1st date is not among those times. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been out to coffee with a girl and had to endure conversations about their exes and other men in their life.

Now, this could be a mistake or a well planned strategy that your date employs to discourage you, if they’re not into you. In situations like that I feel it is critical to steer clear of such subjects as would-be suitors or exes.

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Engage your date on things that interest them or share some of your interests as this is your best chance to avoid being lumped in the friend boat. Be respectful of your date and give them your attention. Or if you’re not into your date then profess your love for someone else. Often. That works. Trust me. The Take Away? Um, I don’t really know what you were hoping to get from this tragedy of a dating blog. The only nugget I can provide, that would help you avoid the above situation, is that a person needs to respect themselves and also they need to understand what they can and can’t accept and deal with. Once a person decides what they won’t accept the above is unlikely to happen… Unless you like chicks with chronic bad breath. Hehehe… Gross. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Tips & Advice Tagged in: advice, Dating If you’re single and your sexy and you do charity stuff and feel all cozy, clap your hands! This is an interview I recently did with Michael Espe, of the LA Food Bank. They’re doing a great thing over there with their third annual singles mixer event. The idea is a brilliant one, get some singles together for a good cause and see what happens. a true stroke of briliance. I tried to host something like this once, but apparently the City of Commerce has very stringent code on charity events for questionable venues for alternative adult entertainment. Alas, my event was never to be… Anyway, if you live in the LA area and want to do some good with someone good, then check this out. Urban Dater: Alright, Michael, I’m on to you.

What’s the deal with this singles mixer event you’re promoting at the LA Foodbank? Michael Espe: Our “Have a Heart for the Hungry” event is a singles mixer and volunteer event on Saturday, February 12th from 845am-12pm. It will be held at one of our new warehouse locations in Vernon, CA which can be just south of Downtown Los Angeles near Huntington Park. Urban Dater: How do people signup to be a part of this event? Is there a limit on how man volunteers you’ll take? Michael Espe: They can sign up by going through the following links on our own website, Facebook and Twitter: > Facebook > Twitter > LA Food Bank Website We are capping the amount of volunteers at 300-350 and right now, we are currently at around 100 volunteers. Urban Dater: What would these singles be doing? WOuld they come and donate food, offer food to people? Will there be lot of making out? Spill! 😉 Michael Espe: The volunteers will be helping package our senior citizens’ kits full of nutritious canned goods and boxed donations. If they would like to bring food donations, it is optional but very beneficial for us! They will not be meeting or interacting with any food recipients. If people want to make out, they can but just not in front of the volunteers and during the volunteer operations, maybe in a random corner somewhere after the day comes to an end haha Urban Dater: How did this even come up and how long have you been doing these events?

Michael Espe: This is going to be our 3rd Annual “Have a Heart for the Hungry” event. It started on Valentine’s Day weekend 2009. My Volunteer Director, Ana Martinez, wanted to change up our regular Saturday volunteer day during Valentine’s weekend by including a holiday theme so she came up with the singles only Valentine’s volunteer event. We had over 400 volunteers show up to the first “Have a Heart for the Hungry”. We have kept it as a part of Foodbank volunteer tradition since then.topadultreview.com We are capping the amount of volunteers at 300-350 and right now, we are currently at around 100 volunteers. Urban Dater: What is some advice you’d give the more shy volunteers? Michael Espe: We have had shy volunteers in the past but we pair people up to ensure they have someone to talk to and there will be a mingling section before, during and after the volunteer session so people can interact more too. We welcome shy people! Urban Dater: Are there any romantic success stories that happened as a result of one of your events? Michael Espe: We had a few couples form from the first event. I am not sure what happened to those couples but hopefully they are still together haha. We even still have some volunteers who keep coming back to the event since they did not have luck the previous times but they like meeting people and giving back to the community.

Urban Dater: Let’s say I’m attending this thing, I mean I wouldn’t I have a girlfriend, but let’s say I didn’t and I came to this thing; what tips would you give me to pickup on pretty much every woman that might be there? You see, I’m a good looking guy and chicks kinda dig me. Michael Espe: Haha, when it comes to picking up a girl or guy at this event, I say people just be who they naturally are. We noticed a lot of volunteers were more interactive with each other when they did not seem so reserved and even some showing off their volunteer skills by being a more active team player in making the food kits!

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Being out there and being an active volunteer is definitely key to meeting that special someone at our event hehe. Urban Dater: Are there plans for any more of these types of events this year? Michael Espe: This event is the only singles-related/holiday event that we have all year round. The sole other holiday related event we have is our Halloween weekend event called “Howl Away Hunger”. Urban Dater: Do you have any partying (yes, I mispelled that on purpose) words of wisdom or anything else you’d like to tell our readers? Michael Espe: I don’t have any final words but on the down low, we need more men! Haha, we always have a high interest form women usually so the ratio is usually off but we will still take anyone in as long as they are 18 years old and above. LA Food Bank Singles Mixer > Facebook > Twitter > LA Food Bank Website Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Date Ideas, Interviews Tagged in: singles mixer 2009 has been an interesting and good year to me, much more so than that jerky 2008 ever was.

  Asshole!  Anyway, I’ve taken time to really think about what 2009 has meant to me, with respect to dating and blogging, and what I’ve learned from it all. Blogging about my dating exploits – We officially started this blog a little over a year ago.  I’ve learned lot of things that I was surprised by.  You see, this site began as an experiment.  The experiment was to see how to go about generating traffic and interest for a blogging site.  Dating and relationships were always a common topic amongst friends and so it was something I felt comfortable writing about.  a funny thing happened.  It turned that I really, really enjoyed blogging and sharing my personal experiences and opinions on the subject of dating and relationships.  I’d never fancied myself as much of a writer; I still think I need lot of help there.  However, it’s been great fun for me and blogging has helped me meet and connect with numerous brilliant and amazing bloggers.

It really has been an incredible unexpected gift. Blogging platforms and growing pains – The site began as not only a blog, but a dating community site as well where people could create profiles and connect with each other… Yeah, that didn’ work out so well. The blog was buggy, at best and the community garnered little to no interest.  So we reviewed the site and decided to stick to a blog based format.  We then ported the blog to WordPress and, I must say, it’s made all the difference, I feel.  In addition to posting regular content (just check out the number of posts the past few months) the SEO value that WordPress provies “out of the box” has been huge as well.  We’ve learned lot there. If you’re going to blog, try self hosting your blog and I’d highly recommend WordPress or Typepad. If you have questions about any of that, contact us! We’re happy to help. How many women can I date at the same time before I break the bank – Four.  Yes, I was dating four women at one point.

  I thought I was actually doing pretty well at that time, too.  Then I find men and women dating well over that… All of the women I was seeing at that time I was seeing only on a very casual basis.  Things add up quickly, really quickly.  Dinner for two here, a couple drinks there times four (being me, I generally tend to pay if I ask the girl out) really drains a pay check. So I learned to scale it back and focus my energies on one or two at a time.  I also learned that if a gal is really interested in your, she tends to be more assertive in picking up the tab… What does that tell me now?  Hmmm. Sometimes getting back together with an ex is a bad idea – I had been in a relationship with this woman for over a year and things just didn’t work out.  Well, several months later we revisited that relationship only to find that, yeah, it still wasn’t going to work out… Lame, right?  Truly, a good connection isn’t enough without underlying depth to the relationship and no matter how many times you watch similar movie, it comes to an end the same way. Forget what I just said… – In a complete contradiction to what I just composed, sometimes getting back together with a flame is a good thing.  I learned that there are times when you can “go back.”  There are times when a relationship doesn’t really get a chance to work.  I had that happen, I had to back out of a relationship to get some things figured out in my own life, deal with my personal baggage as it were.

I was fortunate to be able to come back into a relationship that didn’t really get a chance the first go-round.  Things, thus far, have been really good. Being responsible with other peoples’ feelings – So there have been women that I’ve gone out with in the past and I would “do the fade” if I wasn’t interested.  That is, I would disappear and pretty much ignore a gal that was not into.  Immature. This is a lesson that should were learned long ago.  Treating people with respect should be a no brainer.  Fading out is disrespectful.  I’ve made an effort to be more up front with my feelings and what I’m thinking.  Sure, there are times when these thoughts and feelings have to be dragged out of me, but I still come out and say what I mean and what I feel.  If I hadn’t come to that realization I wouldn’t be in the relationship I’m in now.

One night stands are still plenty of fun – Yes, I’ve been used a few times this year.  Yes, I felt dirty and cheap and like a piece of meat… But it was sooo much fun.  =)  I know, punch me now. I still appeal to cougars – Yaaaaay!  Yep, I was out on a date actually and I was at a bar known for it’s older crowd. I was walking across the bar when an older lady yanks at my collar. “ I LOVE your shirt. What are you wearing?”  I do love them older women that know what they want. The art of hanging out with an ex. – Yes there is an art to hanging out with an ex. I have a new love – Hendricks Gin. I enjoy that stuff!!! I should be a spokesperson for them.  That gin has sustained me through some interesting dates. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, Self, Uncategorized Tagged in: Dating Women Tell Us How To Properly Ask Women Out Last week I surveyed some of my female friends about how they like to be asked out.

I queried them on what makes one approach different from the next, and what tips they have for men asking women out. I received a ton of responses, and have slowly started pulling out the relevant data to help you guys get more dates, the proper way. We all know that that attraction and chemistry play a HUGE role in whether someone is likely to go out with you. It’s also a fact that HOW you approach and ask someone out will affect whether they say yes or no. Keep reading to find out how to properly ask women out. 5  things you should be doing to have women respond to your date requests. 1. Be specific A lot of guys say “We should hang out sometime.” To me that’s a way of being vague, and pre-asking in order to gauge interest. I like to be asked out to do a specific thing, at a specific time and on a specific date. Something tangible. For example:”Let’s do X on Friday at 6:00.” – Tara 2. Be curious Why would I go on a date with someone that knows zero about me? Why do they want to spend time with me if they have no idea who I am? Chat me up and find out why you want to spend some time together, the answer could be as simple as ‘you seem pretty rad’, but at least you know where you’re coming from. – Andy 3. Be original I hate invitations to a cafe or a bar. No, I want to go to neither on a first date. Call me old fashioned, I think it’s lame.

I enjoy being asked to join on something you actually have on your cup list ( like a no pressure bucket list but for the upcoming week or month) that you’ll enjoy regardless of how the date goes. The idea of sharing an experience with someone is more appealing to me. – Andy (again!) 4. Be direct Ask for what you want. I would much prefer that someone says, “Hey, would you like to go on a date?” Then I don’t have to guess if it’s coffee-as-friends or coffee-as-a-date. Get that shit clear brah!! “Are you single?” is nice too, as it implies your intention and opens up the discussion that you have to eventually have anyway if you’re both interested. – Natalie #2 5. Be understanding If I had one thing to suggest, don’t take rejection actually! Certain things are appealing but chemistry is a funny elusive thing and it cannot be predicted. – Natalie #1 We live in a world with a lame dynamic that tells guys to just keep being persistent when women say no. So, I call on all those being asked out to give grown-ass replies (yes/no/maybe/let me think about that). And I call on all those asking people out to respect these grown-ass replies!  We owe it to one another to say what we mean! – Natalie #2 Look, these suggestions are great, and they’re a move in the right direction.

Not every person is going to react the same way, but being open, honest, direct, and kind never hurt anyone. These are great steps to start incorporating in your daily life right now, that will make a difference in how women respond to you. Stay tuned for more of these articles, as I’m continuously compiling more and more responses from women about how to properly ask them out. If you want more descriptive ways on how to properly ask women out, download my free 10 page report on Asking Women Out  Shaun Galanos is the host and producer of The Love Drive. He lives, drives, and writes in San Francisco, CA. photo credit: ashley rose, via photopin cc Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…