Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: guineapig Additional transcribing by: Eric Aasen (notice: The previously unseen elements of this event is revealed in bluish text.)

Chandler: Alright, therefore I’m back senior high school, i am standing in the center of the cafeteria, and I see I am completely naked.

I simply you should not love him

Chandler: out of the blue, the telephone actually starts to ring. Now I’m not sure how to proceed, people initiate looking at me.

Chandler: eventually, we figure I’d better respond to it, a nd as it happens its my personal mama, and that’s very-very unusual, because- she never phone calls me!

Ross: i simply feel individuals hit down my throat, got my little bowel, drawn it out of my personal mouth and tied it around my personal throat.

Monica: Oh actually, to ensure hysterical call I managed to get from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., “I’ll most likely never need grandkids, I’ll never need grandkids.” is what? An incorrect numbers?

Joey: Alright Ross, looks. You’re feeling plenty of soreness nowadays. You are enraged. You’re hurting. Should I show precisely what the answer is?

Rachel: Oh Jesus Monica hi! Give Thanks To Jesus! I recently went along to your own building and you also just weren’t indeed there immediately after which this person with a large hammer stated you may be here and you’re, you might be!

It’s simply a couple heading out to meal and- not having intercourse

Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to all the) Okay, everybody, it is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) this is exactly every person, this might be Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you bear in mind my brother Ross?

(they’re going to hug but Ross’s umbrella opens up. The guy rests back down beat once more. A moment in time of silence follows as Rachel sits plus the others expect the woman to explain.)

Rachel: Oh God. well, they begun about a half-hour ahead of the event. I found myself within the place where we were maintaining every gift suggestions, and I also got looking at this gravy vessel. This truly attractive Lamauge gravy vessel. When suddenly- (to your waitress that delivered her coffee)pleasing ‘n’ Lo?- we discovered that I was more switched on through this gravy vessel than by Barry! Following i acquired actually freaked out, and that’s whenever it strike me: exactly how much Barry seems like Mr. Potato Head. Y’know, after all, I always understood featured familiar, but. In any event, I just needed to step out of truth be told there, and that I began thinking ‘the reason why have always been I achieving this, and just who am we achieving this my company for?’. (to Monica) So anyhow I just didn’t understand which place to go, and that I realize both you and I have kinda drifted aside, however you’re the only people we know exactly who existed here in the metropolis.

Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda wishing that couldn’t be a concern. [Scene: Monica’s house, everybody is indeed there and enjoying a Spanish detergent on television and are generally trying to figure out what is happening.]

Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: press the woman along the staircase! Push this lady on the staircase! Push the woman down the stairways!

Rachel: C’mon father, listen to me personally! It is like, its similar, most of my life, all of us have always explained, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe!’. And after this I just stopped and I mentioned, ‘let’s say I don’t wanna become a shoe? Let’s say I wanna be a- a purse, y’know? Or a- or a hat! No, I am not stating I want you buying myself a hat, i am saying i will be a ha- its a metaphor, Daddy!